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1992 Indiana Jones is now living in New York with his daughter and her family, sporting an eyepatch and a scar and seeking any opportunity to recant his past adventures to anyone who will listen. Visiting the Museum of Natural History in New York, Indy catches two youths who have snuck away from their class claiming that the museum is full of boring junk. Indy says some of the most exciting adventures of his life are in this museum. He tells them he was born in New Jersey on July 1, 1899. He tells them how he was raised in Princeton where his father was Professor of Medieval Studies, but he himself wasn't crazy about school. He preferred playing with his dog Indiana and playing baseball. Indy tells them about the tour throughout Europe and Asia that he and his parents went on and excites their interest by telling them of when he was in Egypt in 1908 exploring a recently uncovered Egyptian tomb. After telling them of how the golden jackal head they found was stolen, the two boys demand to know if he ever got it back. Indy tells them that he went back to Cairo with Miss Seymour, met up with his parents and continued on their journey. Indy begins walking away claiming he has to get home and feed his cat Henry. They beg for him to finish and he finally relents. Indy proceeds to tell them of when, eight years later, he was on spring break in 1916 in Mexico and managed to finally retrieve the gold jackal after first becoming involved in the Mexican Revolution. He tells them how he and Remy set out to Europe to enlist in the Great War. They ask what happened to the jackal and Indy shows them the display it is part of in that very museum. Feeling young and adventurous once more after telling the story, Indy makes his exit by sliding down the banister alongside the stairs. (YIJC - "Young Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Jackal" - TV) Indy is having lunch with his accountant to go over his taxes (Indy has been getting threats from the IRS because of his excessive expenses without any receipts to substantiate them) when he hears a voice that reminds him of Vicki Prentiss. After telling his accountant the story of how he met Vicki in London in 1916, he tells him how he never saw her again. He still carries the train ticket from the day he left her. Indy is happily surprised to find out that the voice he heard was actually Vicki. The two embrace in a long-overdue reunion. (YIJC - "London - May 1916" - TV) Indy attends the Annual Celebrity Tennis Shoe Auction and Dinner at the Metropolitan Foundation For Educational Quality and is seated at a table with a group of strangers. Two of the women argue about wearing furs. The one woman talks about redressing the balance with nature that mankind has destroyed. The woman with the fur coat orders veal for dinner which infuriates the other woman. Indy tells them that their discussion about the balance of nature reminds him of when he once went on safari with Teddy Roosevelt in Africa in 1909. He tells them the story and then leaves after dinner. The rest of the people at the table are left wondering what the point of his story was. (YIJC - "British East Africa - September 1909" - TV) While flying on an airline Indy finds himself seated next to the new owner of the airline who is known in the business world as "The Pirate of Wall Street" due to his history of buying up business, breaking them apart and then selling the individual pieces. Indy tries to persuade the man not to break up the airline, but the man has no regard for the employees. Indy tells him he reminds him of a general commanding the French army at Verdun in 1916 who sent his troops to their deaths in the trenches without any regard for their lives. Indy tells how the French finally retook Fort Douaumont, but with 20,000 fatalities. General Petain became a politician after the war and had a hard time living up to his own moral code. Nivelle, he says, resigned and died a bitter old man who never understood the consequences of his actions on the little guy. His story falls on deaf ears, however, as the man had fallen asleep shortly into Indy's recounting. (YIJC - "Verdun - September 1916") Indy is at a hospital with a swollen foot from a bee sting when he witnesses a young girl who was the victim of a gunshot wound being brought into ER. Indy says how sad it is to see that happen and the man seated next to him who remarks that she's just a street kid who will probably never amount to anything anyway. Outraged, Indy tells him of when he and his troop found a young orphaned boy in Africa in 1916 who later turned out to be Barthelemy Boganda, the first president of the Central African Republic. Indy says he wrote to the boy when he was old enough to tell him about how they brought him to the missionary where he was raised. When a doctor asks if anyone who has the same blood type as the girl would donate blood. The man next to Indy realizes that he is the only one with her blood type and reluctantly volunteers. As he walks away he tells Indy that he's sorry he ever met him and Indy replies that he has that effect on people. (YIJC - "German East Africa - December 1916" - TV) While waiting, Indy talks to the doctor who gave the young girl the blood transfusion. The doctor laments about the innocent bystanders like the girl who get hurt or killed due to the numerous gang wars. He says he tries to do everything he can to help, but sometimes it seems like it's not enough. Indy tells him that he reminds him of a doctor he once met and tells him how he met Albert Schweitzer in early 1917. He says that Schweitzer returned to Africa after the war and found the hospital was reclaimed by the jungle. Schweitzer built another hospital bigger and better. A nurse tells the doctor that the little girl is going to make it. The doctor tells Indy it was a great pleasure to meet him and goes to talk to the girl's parents. (YIJC - "Congo - January 1917" - TV) 1993 A mailwoman comes by to pick up the mail from a mailbox and finds Indy trying to retrieve his hamburger which he accidentally dropped in the mailbox instead of his package. She tells him that once he drops something in the mailbox it becomes the property of the U.S. Government until delivery. He says he hasn't had so much trouble delivering a package since when he was a spy in World War I. Indy tells her the story of how he was assigned to get a letter negotiating a separate peace between Austria and the Allies secretly delivered to Emperor Karl in Austria in 1917. He tells her how even though they were successful, the Kaiser eventually learned of the plan and pressured Emperor Karl into reneging on his word. The war went on for an additional year with a few million more lives lost. Emperor Karl ended up being the last emperor of Austria. She opens the mailbox and trades Indy the hamburger for the package. As he walks away, Indy tells her he always had a thing for ladies in uniform. (YIJC - "Austria - March 1917) Indy witnesses a clerk at a doughnut shop being extremely rude to an elderly lady and pins his neck to the counter with his cane while he admonishes him. He orders the clerk to apologize to the lady. The frightened clerk says Indy doesn't understand the pressure he's under with his job. Indy tells him about fighting in the trenches in the Somme in 1916 in order to describe what real pressure is. The police arrive and take Indy away for his assault on the teenager. (YIJC - "Somme - Early August 1916" - TV) Indy is brought to his holding cell screaming that there's no prison that can hold him. He asks the other inmates if anyone has tried escaping and tells them about how he escaped from a German prison in 1916. The inmates, who have been trying to shut Indy up throughout his story, begin yelling for the guards to remove Indy from the cell. As the guards take him to another room to wait for his lawyer, Indy shouts back at them that he told them he'd be out of there within an hour. (YIJC - "Germany - Mid-August 1916" - TV) Indy arrives at a school to give a lecture to the Pennsylvania History Society. After knocking over the podium and dropping the mike, he tells the story of when he was a spy in Barcelona in 1917 trying to influence Spain to join with the Allies. He says that all of their actions were for naught as Spain never entered the war. When he finishes, the class applauds, however, he finds out that the class he gave the lecture to was American Congress of Neurology. (YIJC - "Barcelona - May 1917" - TV) Indy is fed up with the noise his grandson Spike and his band are creating as they try to rehearse. He tells him that it doesn't matter how many songs Spike can play on the guitar if he can't play any of them well. Spike tells him that they don't need to be good to be famous, but Indy tells him that in music, music comes first. Much to Spike's dismay, Indy tells him the story of how he was putting himself through the University of Chicago in 1920 after returning from the war when he learned to play the soprano sax from Sidney Bechet. He tells them that he only ever played the one song he learned, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," but he got to "jazz" with some of the best. (YIJC - "Chicago - April 1920" (First half of "Young Indiana Jones and the Mystery of the Blues") - TV) The neighbors come banging on Indy's door to complain about the noise from Spike's band which is practicing in the garage. Indy removes the fuse and cuts their power. Spike tells him that they are pushing the envelope with their music. Indy then proceeds to tell everyone of how he had friends in Chicago in 1920 who were doing the same with the Blues. He refuses to give back the fuse to Spike, however, which allows the neighbors to finally get some peace and quiet. (YIJC - "Chicago - May 1920" (2nd half of "Young Indiana Jones and the Mystery of the Blues") - TV) Indy is at a gas station when a man in a jacked-up truck with ridiculously huge tires pulls up. Indy asks him why he needs such big wheels. The man tells him that ever since he was a teenager he wanted to drive the hottest car in town. Indy tells the man how he once drove an early racecar designed by Thomas Edison when he was a teenager in 1916. Afterwards, the man lets Indy take his truck for a spin. (YIJC - "Princeton - February 1916" - TV) Indy is at a photography exhibit when a man comes by to tell him that the exhibit is closing. Indy tells him that the picture he is standing in front of is labeled wrong, it is not a picture of the Bolshevik revolution in October, but an earlier march in July. The man argues with him claiming their research department has done extensive studies on the photographs. Indy tells him about when he was a spy in Russia in 1917 and that four hundred people died the day that photo was taken before the people realized that the revolution wasn't happening yet. Indy points out that he knows this for a fact because his own blurred image can be seen in the photograph. (YIJC - "Petrograd - July 1917" - TV) Indy is stuck in a cab on his way to a play in New York. The cab driver starts yelling at other drivers, especially the men. Indy asks if she hates men. She says that all men are scum. He says that maybe she is looking for perfection and tells her how he was trying to date three women at the same time while working as a stage hand at a play in the summer of 1920. The cab driver asks him what happened with the three girls, but they've arrived at the theater and Indy leaves. She yells after him that men are all the same. (YIJC - "Young Indiana Jones and the Scandal of 1920" ("New York - June 1920" section) - TV) Indy takes his seat at the theater and finds he is seated next to a play critic who is writing his review panning the play before it even opened. Indy asks him if he's a critic or a gossip. Indy tells him how he has seen critics do this before when he was a stagehand at a play in 1920. After the play, the critic says how Indy was right and the play was amazing. Indy is shocked saying that he thought the play stunk. The critic asks what about all of the young people who put so much work into the play. Indy leaves saying they should be ashamed and quit. (YIJC - "Young Indiana Jones and the Scandal of 1920" ("New York - July 1920" section) - TV) Indy's children are questioning his ability to look after himself after an incident where they found him stuck in a tree after trying to rescue his cat. Indy is goes to a psychiatrist to prove to them that he is not crazy. Indy demands that the psychiatrist test him to determine if he is crazy. She asks him if there is any history of mental illness in his family to which Indy replies that is a matter of opinion, but no one was ever diagnosed as mentally unstable. She asks if he has ever undergone psychoanalysis before and he tells her he had a problem once, but he received help from Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and Alfred Adler. At first she thinks he is delusional, but he tells her the story of when he was in Vienna in 1908 and fell in love with Princess Sophie. Once the story is over, he tells her that he never received any letters from Sophie and never knew if she received his. She determines that he is neither crazy or senile and says she will right him a letter saying so. As he leaves, she asks if he ever saw her again. He said he did, but that was another story. (YIJC - "Vienna - November 1908" - TV) Indy is trying to find a parking spot in a crowded parking lot. At the same time two other men are attempting to do the same. The two men are heading down the same aisle towards each other when they spot a space halfway between them. They both race to the spot, but crash into each other. They yell at each other and back up. As they race back to the spot, Indy arrives and manages to park in it as the two men crash into each other again. They both yell at Indy and begin fighting with each other again. Indy tells them a story of when he was in Italy in 1918 and had a similar fight with Ernest Hemmingway over a girl. Indy tells them that after he recovered from his injuries he was shipped out to Rome. He tells them it doesn't pay to fight over something when you lose sight of what you are fighting for. Indy walks away as they continue to yell at him to come back and move his car. (YIJC - "Northern Italy - June 1918" - TV) Indy's daughter turns off the soap opera that Indy is enthralled in saying that it's time to leave for the grandparents' tea at his granddaughter Lucy's school. Indy wants to wait until the soap is over. His daughter tells him that soaps are trash, but Indy says its pure theater. She says that it's not real. Indy says that there are times when life is just like theater and tells her the story of when he was in Ireland in 1916 during the Easter Rebellion. Indy tells her that Sean Lamass was not shot and went on to become Prime Minister of Ireland. O'Casey didn't stay, but wrote some great plays. Indy's daughter says it's time to go. Indy still wants to see the end of the soap, but his daughter tells him that it finished ages ago. he asks why she didn't stop him, but she says no one has ever been able to do that. (YIJC - "Ireland - April 1916" - TV) Indy is at an art auction and sees a "Degas" being auctioned off. He tells the woman next to him how he was there when the painting was done. He the story of how Picasso tricked Degas into signing one of his own paintings in 1908. Indy says he thinks that Degas knew what was going on the whole time. The painting is purchased by a Japanese man who thinks he is buying a Degas. Indy tells him it is a good buy and the man says that one day he hopes to be rich enough to buy a Picasso. (YIJC - "Paris - September 1908" - TV) Indy is having Thanksgiving dinner with his daughter and her family when he is reminded about another dinner of thanks giving he had when he was young. He tells them about his adventure in Peking in 1910. Indy says that he thinks that that was the best Thanksgiving feast he ever attended. His granddaughter Lucy asks what that has to do with cranberry sauce. He says not a lot and then tells his grandson Harry to try it; he may find out he hates it as much as Indy does. (YIJC - "Peking - March 1910" - TV) Indy is at a coffee shop when a disgruntled man sits down next to him at the counter. The man yells at the waitress and Indy asks why he's so rude. The man tells him how the world is against him. He transferred his job, sold his house and then got laid off. he doesn't think he can get any lower. Indy tells him about, Krishnamurti, the most extraordinary person he ever met when he was in Benares in 1910. Indy tells him that in 1929 Krishnamurti renounced his membership in the Theosophist Society and spent the next fifty years traveling the world and telling people that God is in all of us and that we should be kind to each other. He leaves the man to think about what he said. (YIJC - "Benares - January 1910" - TV) Indy is in the check out line at the grocery store when he spots a trashy gossip magazine. He asks who in the world reads this stuff and the lady next to him says people like him read them. She wonders if anybody believes it. Indy says that he's found that sometimes the truth is more fantastic than what you read in those magazines and tells her about when he was on leave in Paris in 1916 and had an affair with Mata Hari. Indy says that less than a year after he left her, Mata Hari was executed for being a spy. The woman asks Indy if she was really a spy. He says that he doesn't know. No one knew for sure and he thinks she didn't even know. None of her friends in high places ever came to her rescue, although he'll always be sorry that it couldn't have been him. (YIJC - "Paris - October 1916" - TV) Indy is challenged to a high stakes game of pool in a pool hall. After impressing everyone with one trick shot after the other, he tells them that it's all comes from having a good understanding of the laws of Physics. He tells his opponents how he learned Physics in Italy in 1908. One of the girls asks him if his mother ever saw Puccini again, but Indy doesn't think so. He tells her how Puccini went on to write an opera about an American woman of the old west who gives up her home and friends for the man she loves. (YIJC - "Florence - May 1908" - TV) Three trick-or-treaters cautiously approach Indy’s house on Halloween (they don’t want to get stuck listening to him tell a story). After unsuccessfully scaring them by throwing a sheet over his head and pretending to be ghost, Indy asks them if they believe in ghosts. They say that they do not, so Indy tells them how he didn’t either until he was sent on a mission to Transylvania in 1918 and came up against the vampire Vlad Tepes. The children are still unwayed, but run screaming from the house when Indy turns around with fake fangs and blood dripping from his mouth. (YIJC - “Transylvania - January 1918” - TV) |
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